3,2,1...

As I am sitting here in my black dress getting ready to celebrate New Year's tonight, it dawns on me...its New Year's Eve. Wait, is it just me or we were just celebrating the start of 2008 not that long ago? I've started to notice that every year that goes by seems to be shorted than the one that preceeded it. This year was not the most impactful one that I have experenced in my short life so far, but it was indeed full of changes. Change...interesting concept. I don't understand why so many people are afraid of it. I live for it. I guess I just get bored with things too easily, I like new, fresh things. And I guess thats what tonight will bring. 365 untouched days, with which we can do anything we want. So, what do you say? Let's make this one to remember.

A View from Heaven

Do you believe that after we die we just say in the ground, or do you believe that there is another place that we become a part of? I have been reading "The Lovely Bones", and it has made me wonder about this. However, the truth of the matter is that none of us will really know until we are there. I like to think that there is a Heaven. The book talks about how everyone on earth has someone in Heaven watching them, be it a parent, and friend or just someone who was touched by that person in their life time. I hope that I have someone looking out for me up there.

Best Friends Means Friends Forever

There's nothing like old friends to remind you who you are.

Ready and Waiting to Fall

Sometimes I wish my life was a cheesy romance movie so that someone would come along and sweep me off my feet and make me believe in love again. One of the most important things about relationships is that you learn something from them, and can grow from the lessons that they teach you. What I have taken away from all my experiences so far is that you can't put your heart into things too fast, becuase if it ends up badly, you will end up disappointed and hurt. I guess I got too used to doing things this way, becuase it takes alot for me to put my heart into things at all. I feel like I need to protect myself from the pain that I have experienced so many times. I think I have become numb...I don't feel enough. I've only cried over someone once, and I told myself I would never do that again.

All around me I have been seeing people diving into things with their heart and soul, and getting hurt by the people that are supposed to love them. I guess I just feel like good things never last.

Well Versed in the Ways of the World

Since I've been home I've been looking at old photos...well, I guess I shouldn't refer to them as "old" becuase they from this past summer. I guess they just seem old becuase of how different I look, I seem so young in all of them. Doing this has made me realize just how much I have grown up since I've been away. I don't just look different, I am different. You always hear people talk about how people change when they go away to college like its a bad thing, but it doesn't always have to be. I think I am the same person I was before I left, its just that I look at certain things differently. It has been said that it is not the person that creates the journey, but that it is the journey that shapes the person, and experience has taught me this first hand.

I used to live for other people instead of living for myself, and I was always the one who lost out in the end, so I stopped. I started doing things becuase I wanted to, not becuase other people would ask me to, or becuase it was what was expected of me. I stopped caring about what other people thought, becuase who am I really trying to impress? I was taken advantage of too many times, and I didn't want that to happen anymore. I know that I should live for myself, but its made me selfish.